CoachesAid.com - High School Sports

I took a bit of a butt chewing last Wednesday and it's all your fault.

That's right.

Your fault.

After Jones' appeal was denied last week by the Oklahoma Secondary School Activities Association, the two dozen or so onlookers who attended the meeting drove over to the Oklahoma State School Board Association building to meet with Jones Supt. Mike Steele and Principal Carl Johnson.

After about an hour-long meeting there, the group exited the room and one of the dad's made a beeline for yours truly. Understandably, he looked none too happy.

Gulp.

"Are you the one responsible for the CoachesAid stuff?!"

I get this question a lot.

Yes, I am with CoachesAid. Yes, I do write some stories, some blogs and am responsible for this "written performance" that's currently wasting 10 minutes of your life that you'll never get back.

But I knew he was talking about the Forum, one of our most popular features.

By last Wednesday, a thread concerning the Jones situation had hit 21 pages in length. The entire spectrum had been covered in the thread and not all of it painted a pretty picture of the Jones administration and football coaching staff.

It was people's opinions, which is why the Forum exists. We all know what opinions are like and we know what most of them do.

But this Pops wasn't happy about some of the things had been said and I got to hear about it.

It actually wasn't too bad. He basically wanted me to know that Jones coach Dave Martin had his utmost trust and respect and "I wouldn't want my son to play for anyone else."

I let him say his piece, thanked him for his thoughts and then slapped him across the face with my reporter's notebook.

JOKING!

I actually hit him in the back of the head with it.

JOKING!

I don't necessarily care for taking butt chewings, but at the same time I don't mind. It means people are (A) reading, and, (2) passionate about it (yes, I did that on purpose).

That's why we're here.

But take note. Your words carry a lot of weight whether you realize it or not.

If some grandma pushing a stroller lays me out in the parking lot outside a basketball gym one cold night, it could be your fault.

I like big books and I cannot lie...

One of my favorite writers among my peers is ESPN.com's Bill Simmons, aka The Sports Guy.

Although he's been around for a while, I'm fairly new to the Simmons fandom. When I worked at the Kingfisher newspaper, we used Mac computers, which are great now. But, for some reason, every computer I had while at the paper had a terrible time loading up the ESPN.com website. Therefore I was a more avid reader of SI.com.

Not until a couple years ago was I able to regularly read ESPN.com and Bill Simmons.

The new basketball bible?

He writes the way we think, which has endeared him to many a fan (and made him a bit of an outcast in the old-school world of sports writers, but that's OK because he's making bank right now).

Anyway, Simmons' latest book, "The Book of Basketball: The NBA According to The Sports Guy" recently hit the shelves and landed at No. 1 on the New York Times bestsellers list.

If you're a fan of the NBA - heck, if you're a fan of basketball at all - you've got to pick it up.

Don't say I didn't warn you about the $30 price tag, but afterwards make sure to remember that I told you it was well worth it.

For starters, if you include the acknowledgements, the book is 702 pages long. A lot of that is due to the hundreds and hundreds of footnotes included in the book, many of which offer a look into Simmons' sense of humor.

I'm tackling the project of reading the four-pound book right now and am about 150 pages in.

By page 20, I knew Simmons had done his homework. And, if you've read up on the book, you know fully well that he has.

Simmons' life revolves around sports. He consumes anything and everything around him that has the letters S, P, O, R, T and S.

For this book, he bought and read every single book possible that had ever been written concerning the NBA. It took him over four years to complete the project from beginning to end and it's evident in just the first few pages.

He tackles issues, offers insight, his own opinions (and backs them up with fact after fact after fact) and much more.

So, if you've got a couple months (and $30) to burn, I highly recommend picking it up.

Be careful, you might need a backbrace to do it.

I'm officially a dork (Shut up!)

 I did it.

Couldn't resist it.

I bought my first "As Seen on TV" item.

First a little background.

I tend to have a bad back. I'm not crippled or bent over or barely able to walk, but the ol' back isn't 20 years old anymore. Several years ago, I was told not to keep a wallet in my back pocket because that could contribute to my woes.

So I stopped.

But I still needed something in which to keep my money (limited as it may be), credit cards, license, player's card, OSSAA pass, etc.

A money clip is the logical choice, but I never could find one to my liking.

The ones with magnets erased my credit cards or wouldn't magnetize if I had too much stuff in them. Others were extremely too bulky and I'm not big on walking around looking like I've got a brick in my front pocket.

A couple years ago before I went to Ireland, I was in my niece's bathroom when I noticed one of her ponytail holders.

Light bulb!

I gave it a shot and loved it. It kept all my stuff together and wasn't bulky. For two years I've used a ponytail holder as my money clip.

Now back to the present.

A few weeks ago I was walking through a drug store when I found myself on the "As Seen on TV" aisle.

Buried amongst the Shamwows and the Snuggies and the original Blublocker sunglasses (you remember those!) was the Slim Clip.

Swish's sweet money clip.

Swish's sweet money clip. The other side.

Tired of being giggled at by every store clerk in Oklahoma for my ponytail holder money clip, I figured I had nothing to lose by giving the Slim Clip a try except the $10 price tag.

So far, so good. As the name suggests, it clips my money and cards and keeps a slim profile.

Now granted, I haven't put it in my blender or run over it with my pickup (which the commercial says you can do), but hopefully neither of those things will be happening when it's in my jeans.

If all the other "As Seen on TV" stuff works out this well, I might be the proud owner of a Magic Stitch sewing machine in no time.

Got apps?

I'm also about two months into my ownership of an iPhone.

And, as expected, I have no idea how I've lived without it this long.

The only thing is, I have very few apps.

I've got facebook, a ping pong game, Photoshop Mobile, DoodleBuddy (my niece likes to draw things, OK?) and, ESPN Radio and Shazam (the one that identifies a song and artist and has proven to be my favorite so far). Oh and there's one that makes all sorts of fart sounds but I swear I have no idea how that got on there; that's so juvenile.

This is where you can help.

I need more apps. Cool apps. I don't care what they are, send me some suggestions.

Of course I love the free ones, but if it's worthy, I'll pay.

Send me an email (michaelswisher@coachesaid.com) or comment below.

Just give me some suggestions of your favorites.

I'm talking good games (of course I'm a sports game fan, but I'll consider almost anything), apps I can use, apps I can have fun with, apps my nieces might like.

Anything.

If I like them, I'll download them and give you credit.

If I don't, I'll make fun of you and let everyone on here know how lame you are.

What have you got to lose?

Help me out.

Speaking of music

 I'm not ashamed of my guilty pleasures. I put them right out there for everyone to see...and ridicule.

Last year around state basketball tournament time, I wrote in a blog while covering the 3A boys at OCU that I was really digging Lady Gaga after they played it over the PA system.

Well now there's a song that's been on the radio that I can't get out of my head. And when this baby starts playing, the old factory speakers get put to the test because the volume is going up to 10.

It's Cascada's "Evacuate the Dancefloor."

*Buries head in shame*

I know.

*Hands over man card*

I should be ashamed.

*Realizes he actually handed over his frequent customer card at the local manicure-pedicure shop*

I really should be.

*Realizes he was told he'd never get his man card that day he flatulated just before getting that swat back in high school*

But I'm not ashamed.

*Grabs back that manicure-pedicure card. Pays for one more and the next one's free*

Every now and then a song comes along that I do my darndest not to like, but no matter how much I resist, I can't ignore the truth.

This is one of them, so I'm sorry.

Now you're going to like it too.

If nothing else, you'll be singing the chorus the rest of the day.

You're welcome.

Music Flashback

 1988.

Stonewashed jeans. Jean jackets. Turtlenecks. Goofy sweaters.

Tight rolls. Hightop black Reeboks (don't you dare fasten that velcro strap at the top!).

Gold chains. Quasi-mullets (the Kentucky waterfall didn't go down very far, but those things were still mullets in my book....and yes I had one...and yes I used to have a perm on my mullet too...don't act like you didn't have the permullet back in the day).

Short shorts (I'm talking about basketball uniforms because schools hadn't caught on to the "longer is cooler and less likely to lead to a mishap").

Basically it was the best year- at least summer - of my life.

It was the summer that gave us "Pour Some Sugar on Me," which was nearly the very first Music Flashback ever in the Swisher's Suite. That song shaped my entire summer, but since it's still a song that gets a lot of airplay, I figured it doesn't yet qualify for this part of the column. It also gave us "Sweet Child 'O Mine," quite possibly one of the greatest songs ever written.

In fact, the list from 1988 goes on and on...and each song brings up its own memories.

This one does, too, but I'll let you just enjoy a song you probably haven't heard in 15 years and not pollute it with my thoughts.

Al B. Sure's "Night and Day."

Told you it's been a while since you heard it.

Get fit Swish

Don't ask. I'm fat. I forgot what the inside of the weight room looked like. I'm never home, so I don't work out.

I eat and I get fat. I don't even know how much I weigh.

I've got to find that inspiration, that drive, to get me back in there once again.

The fact that my shirts are smaller and jeans are tighter should be enough.

We'll see.

I need something to really track my progress, though. I need some real accountability.

I need something. Period. Because I'm fat, not fit.

Thanks as always for stopping by. Next week, as you know, is Thanksgiving. It's also the one-year anniversary of Swisher's Suite as the column debuted Thanksgiving Day 2008 with a tribute to my late Grandpa Ted Swisher.

I'm not sure what's in store for next week. It could be another tribute of some sort. Maybe not to my grandpa, but to someone else.

Still not sure. Just hoping you'll be sure to stop by again.

Until next time.